How Much More?
by Traci
Summary: O'Neill helps Carter deal with her "Black Widow" or "Maggie Syndrome" off all the men in her life dying.


Disclaimer: Not mine, don't own anything related to Stargate SG-1, not for lack of trying however hehehe. Belong to Showtime (soon to be Sci-fi!), Gekko, MGM, Double Secret (?), etc. Want Jack, though, desperately!!!!!  
  
Author: Traci  
  
Category: S/J UST  
  
Rating: PG  
  
Spoilers: Post-ep Between Two Wars, slight Divide and Conquer, 2001, any ep where Sam loses a possible suitor.  
  
Summary: Jack helps Sam deal with her "Maggie" syndrome  
  
Author's Notes: For those that don't know - Maggie was a character on Northern Exposure who's boyfriends died in many strange ways and lots of them died :)  
  
This literally picks up right at the end of Between Two Worlds..... Okay, since I didn't post this before 2001 aired, now includes that too.  
  
  
  
How Much More?  
  
  
  
Jack stayed behind with Sam as everyone silently exited the room. He could only imagine what Sam was going through. Gently he touched her shoulder. "Hey, you alright?"  
  
She did not look at him. Only nodded her head. Inside, however, her heart ached. Her stomach churned. She was numb. She had barely felt her Colonel's touch.  
  
"Sam, come on." He tugged at her hand and she silently followed him.  
  
She didn't speak a word until they reached the surface and she turned to Jack. "Where are we going?"  
  
"A secret place I know of," he smiled.  
  
"But, Sir, we have things to...." She was silenced by a finger to her lips.  
  
"They can do without us for an hour."  
  
He led her up the side of the mountain to a rock ledge, secluded behind a grove of trees.  
  
Sam gasped. "It's beautiful." She looked at him. "How did you find this?"  
  
Jack shrugged. "No doubt one of those days when you and Daniel were on Cloud 9 about some rocks or something and I was confused." He was rewarded with a small chuckle. Motioning for her to sit, they sat next to each other with their legs dangling over the edge. "I may not be the one you want to talk to, but Sam, I know this can't be easy for you anymore..." His heart dropped when her blue eyes began to fill with tears. He hadn't meant to make her cry.  
  
"I... why me?" Suddenly feeling ashamed for her moment of weakness, she turned away, staring down into the deep valley.  
  
"Because you make it so easy for people to lo.... care about you," he whispered.  
  
"But why do they all have to die? Jonas was one thing, he brought it on himself, but I had loved him at one time. Then Martouf... it was as if I was standing outside of my own body when I...."  
  
Jack reached over and began rubbing her back. "You did what was necessary. Just like I did when..." He stopped himself. This was about Sam, not him.  
  
"When you killed me," she finished, meeting his eyes. "You had to do what was necessary too, Jack."  
  
"But you're still here." His hand moved from her back to her cheek.  
  
"And Orlin. Could there have been anyone as innocent as him?" She looked down at her hands. "It was a little creepy at first, but he was really sweet. It was like watching a child eager to learn. Watching his body, human form, whatever, lying there dead.... then knowing he had been destroyed when he took the bomb away..."  
  
Jack remained silent, letting her say whatever she needed to.  
  
"My voice greeted Narim whenever he got home, you know." Sheepishly she met his eyes once again, drawing on the love and compassion she found there.  
  
Jack's eyes widened. "What?"  
  
She laughed. "When Teal'c and I went over the first time, he had one of those automated voice systems, in my voice."  
  
"Hmmm, maybe it's a good thing I didn't know." He grinned. "His house would have been uncomputerized quickly."  
  
She nudged his shoulder.  
  
"What? I'm just saying it's a little creepy for a guy to be doing that."  
  
"He was really nice, you know. He really did care a lot about me."  
  
Looking down at his hand, Jack nodded. He always knew Sam had a big heart, it just hurt him, sometimes, to know there were others she cared so much about.  
  
"Now I know how Maggie must have felt," she said, staring straight down the cliff.  
  
That got Jack's attention. "Maggie?"  
  
"Yeah, from Northern Exposure." The valley had lost her interest once again. Her eyes lifted to meet Jack's, who had his head tilted in question.  
  
"Anytime she got a boyfriend, or even someone remotely interested, he died. One even was killed when a satellite fell from the sky on him."  
  
Jack took both of Sam's hands in his own. "I'm still here." Looking into the sky, he continued, "And not seeing any satellites heading my way."  
  
Sam laughed, then turned serious. "It hurts a lot. In a way, I'm partly responsible for Narim's death."  
  
"How so?"  
  
"If I had just ignored the message he sent through. If we had just let the politics sort themselves out..."  
  
"Earth would have been destroyed as well as many other planets. Sam, you saved the lives of millions. Besides, we have no real proof that Narim is dead. He may have survived and just the communication was cut." He paused. "You cared for him a lot didn't you?"  
  
Sam nodded. "But not nearly as much as I care about someone else." Her eyes told him the truth. He would always have his own, special place in her heart.  
  
Standing up, he pulled her with him and into a tight hug. "I'm not going to go anywhere, that I promise you, Samantha Carter."  
  
They broke from their embrace and proceed, in silence, back to the SGC. No matter what, they'd always be there for each other.  
  
Prologue  
  
Nearly a month had passed since Narim's apparent death. Since then they had met the Aschen, Sam had been asked out on a date by Joe, the United States Ambassador, had uncovered the Aschen's deep secret, cut off talks, and lost Joe in the process.  
  
Colonel O'Neill stood outside the workout room and hesitated. He had looked all over the base for Carter and finally found where she had been hiding. Taking a deep breath, he pushed the door opened, glanced around the room to make sure there was no one else, locked the door behind him, and walked over to the punching bag.  
  
Sam kept hitting it. If she had noticed Jack walk in, she hadn't acknowledged it.  
  
"I think you won, Carter."  
  
She ignored him and kept at it.  
  
"Fraiser won't be happy to know you're doing this after the shoulder dislocation you had two weeks ago."  
  
Stopping for a moment, Sam looked at him then continued beating on the bag. "I should have gone back," she stated.  
  
Jack stood behind the bag and held it still for her. "You had a duty to Earth."  
  
"He died for me."  
  
"He died to save Earth."  
  
Sam finally stopped.  
  
Jack stepped out from behind the bag and looked at her.  
  
As she removed her gloves, she calmly said, "I don't know how much more of this 'duty' I can take."  
  
"Sam?"  
  
She looked up at him. "How many more people who come near me have to die, Jack? I mean geez, it's probably only a miracle that you, Daniel, and Teal'c are all still alive."  
  
"Well, Daniel has.... nevermind." He took a step closer to her. "Sam, it's not you."  
  
Dropping her gloves into her bag, she sat on the floor. "They're calling me the Black Widow, you know."  
  
He sank to the floor beside her. "Who? I want names!"  
  
Sam shook her head. "It doesn't matter."  
  
"Yes it does." Jack turned her head to face him. "Sam, we're the best, that's why we get sent on the missions we do. We take life-threatening risks everyday and we know what we're getting ourselves into. So do our counterparts, whether they be alien or politicians."  
  
"Joe didn't know," she whispered.  
  
"You filled him in didn't you?"  
  
She nodded.  
  
"Then he knew. He could have chosen to back out of it and let you go alone. He chose to go. He knew there were risks."  
  
Sam remained silent for a few moments. "I don't know if I can take this anymore, though."  
  
"You're thinking of quitting?"  
  
"I'm thinking of not having to watch anyone else die."  
  
Jack turned his head away. "If you do leave, we will die you know."  
  
"I think you guys will do perfectly fine without me," she laughed.  
  
His eyes locked with hers. "No, we won't. Who was the one who kept me alive in the Antarctic? Who figured out what that light thingy did in that Goul'd palace and saved us from a lifetime of addiction? Who figured out how to switch Daniel and Michello back into their original bodies before it was too late? I would have been a Goul'd host by now thanks to Hathor if it hadn't been for you. Sam, we would have all died years ago if we didn't have you around. So see, you're very good luck for us to have." He paused. "But, if you feel you have to do this... I'll support you."  
  
She smiled at him then looked down. "Thank you, Sir.... Jack. I really appreciate that. You know, if I do resign then you and I could..."  
  
"Yeah, we could," he softly agreed.  
  
"Of course, after that speech, I don't know if I could stand being here not know if you guys were alright or not."  
  
He smiled.  
  
She lifted her head and locked her eyes with his. "And if I stay then you and I can't...."  
  
He nodded. "Of course, I'll probably be retiring relatively soon...."  
  
"And then assuming a satellite hasn't hit you..."  
  
"Assuming as much... yes."  
  
"I just don't know how much more I can take."  
  
Sliding an arm around her shoulder, he pulled her close. "You will never have to handle it alone, Sam. Never."  
  
  
  
The End  
  
(Ah, Twu Wuv) 


End file.
